Poor Mothers, Poor Choices, Poor Babies

Despite welfare reform which has never worked, there are increasingly too many single urban and rural women who are depending upon society to take care of them while they continue to give birth to illegitimate children who they, for the most part, send to school without even teaching them their ABC's, much less how to read. Let's consider a common scenario: Betty Sue in rural Mississippi, 39, has four kids (ages 3 months to 17 years old) by four different fathers. Pregnant Shanika in Philadelphia, 25, also has four kids (ages 6 months to 8 years old), but by two different fathers. Both Betty Sue and Shanika have been on welfare since they were sixteen years old. Both claim that they cannot work because of childcare options. Basically, even if they worked full-time, their salaries would not even cover their childcare expenses.

Should we, as a society, be forced to provide free food, money, and healthcare for them?

What responsibility do we have to take care of the poor people in our society?

Does it matter if people are poor by choice or ignorance?

Poor Choices

Questions for Betty Sue, Shanika, and other long-term welfare mothers:

1) Why would you keep giving birth to children that you have no means of taking care of? (After the first, second, or even third child, did you stop to think that perhaps neither you NOR society can AFFORD YOUR kids?)

2) Ever heard of birth control? (Yes, accidents can and do happen. However, how about doubling, or even tripling up on birth control using condoms, spermicide cream, AND chemical birth control (pills, Norplants, Depo shots, etc..)? AND IF ALL THAT FAILS, try closing your legs, that usually does the trick...)

Education

How many times do we hear about helping poor disadvantaged, urban youths?

We have all seen the news headlines: Closing the Achivement Gap, Why are Our Black Students Failing?, The Dropout Crisis in Urban Schools, Are We failing Our Black Boys?, etc...

Do they need our help? I would say yes...However, they also need the help and support of their PARENTS!!!

Disclaimer: Let's also keep it real folks, urban students = black students.

As an former urban educator, I have worked in and taught in many poor, urban schools where I have seen the following:

Kids starting kindergarten and 1st grade not knowing their ABCs, how to spell their name, or read simple words. (If you are a single, unemployed mother, why aren't your kids starting school with an educational advantage? I mean, don't you have free time to read to them, teach them basic math and literacy skills? Poor, urban kids should have an advantage over surburban kids or kids from working parents who don't have the TIME to teach their kids basic literacy and math skills....Oh, sorry, I forget, poor urban mother, you have to watch your talk shows, gossip, deal with your bad ass kids, and have quailty time with you boyfriend aka future baby daddy...)

Kids coming to school unprepared, hungry, and dirty. (How much time and energy does it take to make sure your child does his homework? How can your child be hungry when you get several hundred dollars of free food per month? It runs out. Well, hell, perhaps you could budget your money and stop buying damn steaks and prime cuts...How can you not take the time to make sure your kids take a bath and come to school clean?)

Mothers defending their children no matter what they do. (Common scenario: Ms. Jackson, Tequan hit two students and punched the teacher because she told him to stop cussing at her and to sit down. How you gonna suspend my got damn child? I don't have to time be running up to school for this shit. Hell, you all supposed to give them a got damn education instead of calling me and bothering me and shit. Ms. Jackson, do you understand why we suspended your son? You racist motherf(*&s@&! You think I am stupid?.....)

Poor Out of Ignorance

Maybe they don't know any better...Ignorance breeds ignorance...Poor uneducated mothers are likely the grown-up children of other poor uneducated mothers...Thus, the cycle continues....

I am not cold or callous or insensitive to the plight of poor children born to poor mothers. (I myself was born to a poor, uneducated mother).

However, at what point do we, as a society, hold mothers (and fathers) accountable for parental responsibility? (which by the way does include providing for childrens' EMOTIONAL, EDUCATIONAL (Yes, you should not simply expect teachers to teach your child), SOCIAL (yes, you have to talk to your children...like, hold a real conversation) and PHYSICAL NEEDS. )